Tyra Jarvis

How do you deal with “Holiday Overwhelm”?

The key? A healthy relationship with time, along with healthy boundaries and assertive communication with others about your time helps reduce stress and will generate more time for the things you love – during the holiday season and throughout the entire year!!

Practice these tips now to complete the 2019 Holiday Season with a “Happy Heart” and use them to make 2020 your best year ever!

Time and Your Schedule – Is your schedule managing you?

Remember: you’re in charge– own your commitments, take charge of your time including your calendar and your happiness!

  • Remember that there are only so many hours in the day. This means that whatever you choose to take on limits your ability to do other things. So even if you somehow can fit a new commitment into your schedule, if it’s not more important than what you would have to give up to do it (including time for relaxation and self-care), you really don’t have the time in your schedule.
  • Einstein Time – you’re the source of time. You decide what to spend your time on. It’s not out there being put upon you and you’re not a victim of time. When you say you don’t have time for something, you’re really saying you don’t have time for that! Own it! The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
  • Focus on the most important. According to the Pareto Principle (the 80:20 rule) 80% of your results are produced by 20% of your efforts. What are your 20% results, actions, activities, relationships? There will always be more to do. How will you focus on what matters most to you?
  • Know Your Best Time –are you a morning person, a night owl? When do you do your best work? Don’t spend your best time, wasting time.

Get real about Incompletions and other Tolerations; Get complete regularly.

Tolerating incomplete stuff zaps energy and contributes to holiday overwhelm. To create space for creating new possibilities, conversations and actions, practice getting complete regularly.

  • Get Real About Incomplete Items. What you said you would do; what others asked you to do; what you expect, need or want to do; what others expect, need or want to do.
  • Incomplete Items Inventory. To deal with it and get straight about completion, make a list of everything not complete, write it all down on paper, and plan to get complete: do it now, schedule it to be done, or get straight, agree to not do it and call it complete.

Manage Healthy Boundaries – where we draw the line with others! One way to pare down your schedule is to get good at saying “no” to new commitments. Learning to say “no” to requests can be one of the biggest favors you can do for yourself and those you love. It helps reduce stress levels and gives you time for what’s most important.

  • Maintain Balance in our schedules and our lives. We tend to take on more responsibilities than we’re comfortable with, just to please others. If we don’t respect our own limits, how can we expect others to respect them?
  • Minimize Conflict. We tend to feel frustrated and resentful when we say “yes” to things better addressed with a “no.” Maintaining healthy boundaries lets others know where they stand with us, and can allow us to avoid causing additional conflicts in our relationships due to resentments and other negative feelings caused by poor boundaries.
  • Promotes Closeness. Healthy boundaries allow us to have closer relationships that respect all involved. Allowing others to get close to us, without overwhelming us, is the true goal of boundary setting. It is a misperception keeping others at arms-length is having, strong healthy boundaries.

Communicate Assertively with Others.

  • Be firm — not defensive or overly apologetic — and polite. This gives the signal that you’re sympathetic, and will not easily change your mind if pressured.
  • If you decide to tell the person you’ll get back to them, be matter-of-fact and not too promising. If you lead people to believe you’ll likely say “yes” later, they’ll be more disappointed with a later “no.”
  • If asked for an explanation, remember that you really don’t owe anyone one. “It doesn’t fit with my schedule,” is perfectly acceptable.

So, what’s stopping you from doing these Tips today?

“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done!” – Thomas Jefferson

What one thing will you take on for the remainder of 2019 to have a Happy Heart and enjoy the holidays?

  • Manage your time differently
  • Complete and Plan each week
  • Commit to completing 2019 and planning 2020
  • Act consistent with commitments
  • Commit time and money to have the future fulfilled
  • Recalibrate mindset to get past your limiting beliefs
  • Make time for you – do something every day that brings you joy
  • Take care of yourself
  • Use accountability structures to support your success journey

Wishing you the best of the holiday season and a prosperous New Year! – Tyra

Living Your Extraordinary Life

A guide for turning chaos into order to create a life of passion & purpose…

Are you saying, “I don’t want to be here anymore?”
Are you ready to go from “now what” to “what now” and live an extraordinary with more freedom, passion, and fun?

If this sounds like you, then the time is NOW to create and start living your extraordinary life! With clarity, energy, and courage, you’ll be on your way to living an extraordinary life every day with more freedom, power and joy than you’ve ever had before.

This FREE ebook is filled with exercises that help you define your Now What Vision and Purpose!

Ready for a Mid-Year Check Up

It’s September! Can you believe it? Where does the time go? The good news – we still have four months on the 2019 clock. This is the perfect time to pause, take a check point and reset the clock if necessary.

We service our vehicles, so they’ll be there for us. I recommend we do the same for us. So, how are you doing? Are you on track? Experiencing some breakdowns?

Taking time to conduct a checkup now will give you more clarity, motivation and confidence, with less stress and overwhelm to continue to create results powerfully throughout the remainder of the year.

7 Powerful Mid-Year Check Up Tools

Tool #1: Review, Reflect and Acknowledge Success Regularly.

Successful people live in the “gap” and that focus is stressful. Our constant focus and drive to grow and excel can cause us to overlook our progress towards our goals and leave us feeling unsuccessful when we have actually accomplished a lot. Take some time now to review the year so far and reflect on all that has been accomplished. For example, what’s one thing you are proud of? How will you acknowledge and celebrate that success? What’s one mistake you’ve made and lesson you’ve learned? How will you leverage that wisdom moving forward? Acknowledging your success to date and creating opportunities to celebrate your success ongoingly will sustain your motivation and momentum!

So, what about the areas where you are not where you want to be yet – the breakdowns? Remember, a breakdown is just the “gap” between where you are and where you want to be, an indication there has been insufficient action to fulfill on your promise. There’s no story, no ego, no value judgments, no hit to your self-esteem. It’s just what’s so, there are actions missing. When experiencing a breakdown, be gentle on yourself and stay in action by committing to the next right action to take!

Tool #2: Complete incompletions to clear the path to create and perform the rest of the year!

Tolerating incomplete “stuff” is a major source of distraction that zaps our energy and contributes to overwhelm. They take up psychic real estate and let you continue to beat yourself up. Left unchecked they get in the way of the important things that need to be done. To create space for creating new possibilities, conversations and actions, practice getting complete regularly.

  • Get Real About Incomplete Items. What you said you would do; what others asked you to do; what you expect, need or want to do; what others expect, need or want you to do.
  • Incomplete Items Inventory. To deal with it and get straight about completion, make a list of everything not complete, write it all down on paper, and plan to get complete: do it now, schedule it to be done, or get straight, agree to not do it and call it complete.

Tool #3: Recommit to where you want to go to improve decision making and accomplishment.

Now that you have acknowledged your success to date and removed any incompletions distracting you, it’s time to create your updated plan for the reminder of the year.

Standing in the future fulfilled, it’s December 31, 2019, what have you created? It’s a done deal, already happened. What have you accomplished? Make sure to connect with what really matters, what you are committed to having in the world – your life’s intentions, i.e. living a healthy lifestyle, having a successful career, being a loving family member and friend, etc.  This will clarify your choices and accelerate your decision making. Then make your decisions from who you are “being” and where you are going rather than where you are currently.

From here, unfold the milestones, actions, and promised results from the future to the present. What Top 3 results will you have produced in September, October and November that will set you up for success in December? Remember, the Universe is an intention fulfilling machine. Be careful to ask for what you want vs what you don’t want.

Next, document your 90-day plan for September, October and November and keep it present. This blueprint will set your commitment compass on powerful year end for 2019 and an awesome start to 2020. Remember: “failing to plan, is a plan to fail!”

Tool #4: Include “whole life” goals in your annual plan to set the foundation for fulfillment.

Make sure your plans include goals from all areas of your life. When we focus on one area at the expense of another, we are not addressing an important source of fulfillment. Although there may be a prioritization or sequence to your goals, I recommend having them all in play, meaning something from each area included in your goals. It is the only way I know to make sure an important area of your life is not overlooked. I also recommend your goals be defined by you from the inside, internally motivated, rather than driven by some outside motivation.

The areas I include are health, work, wealth, relationships, lifestyle and play.

Health is your well-being; your mind, body and spirit. You decide how to measure if you’re healthy. Work includes anything you do for pay, and don’t get paid, i.e. volunteer work, home projects, care for family members and friends, etc. Wealth includes your financial resources and addresses your financial wellbeing. Again, you decide how to measure if you’re healthy and well in this area of your life. Relationships is your emotional well-being and the relationships in your life where you express love and being loved. Are your current relationships supporting you and your life? Lifestyle is about how you are living your life.  Where do you live, work and play? Do you have time, money and location freedom (living and working where you want)? Play includes what activities bring you joy simply by doing them. Winning and achieving may be fun, they just aren’t play! For me, playing with my granddaughters, playing golf with family and friends, and going to movies all bring me joy!

Tool #5: Establish accountability strategies to ensure you stay on track when life tries to take you off course.

Taking your plans to the court is where the rubber meets the road, and where stuff will show up and get in the way! This is when resilience and persistence are called upon most.

Surrounding yourself with like-minded, supportive people who are a stand for you being bigger than you know yourself to be and support what you are creating for yourself and your life are so critical. Peak performance partners, masterminds, mentors and coaches all offer support. My coaches and masterminds have provided that support to me, especially when I doubted myself or felt like quitting.

Productivity and accountability structures like your calendar, notes, reminders, alarms, applications, etc. also help to support you. Choose the support structure that works best for you. You don’t have to make this trek alone! 

Tool #6: Maintain a strong personal foundation to support your success.

Like a house foundation avoids collapsing under stress, your personal foundation supports you living an extraordinary life. This involves your physical environment, emotional health & wellbeing, money and relationships – the Who, What and How of each person. It can be hard to reach goals when you are feeling chaos in any area of your personal foundation. To gain control and turn chaos into order, address what needs to be shored up. Once you achieve balance with the areas of your personal foundation, you can empower yourself to achieve any goal!

Tool #7: Implement daily strategies to manage mindset and self-care.

“Control of self” is the game changer and it will take conscious interventions with your mindset and selfcare every day.  Without control of self, we tend to get in our own way and block ourselves from having what we say we want.

Our brain is concerned with survival and keeping us safe. This can result in fear and scarcity conversations that cause us to shrink and play small. Not the best when you want to do something you’ve never done before. Also, 95% of brain activity beyond conscious awareness (Bruce Lipton Ph.D.) This requires us to tap into our heart, soul and instincts to listen to what’s really going on for us.

Confronting limiting beliefs, fears, and scarcity requires regular mindset strategies. Strategies might include mediation, prayer, journaling, reading. Whatever works for you to clear your mind to allow you to do your best work.

Selfcare is the other critical element of control of self. You cannot take care of anyone or anything if you are not taking care of yourself. I love Laura Gisborne’s definition and reminder of selfcare – sleep, exercise, letting go, fuel, community, asking, receiving, and ease.

Did you have an Ah-HA?

An Ah-HA is an idea that caught your attention and screams “Use me and use me now!” Write down your Ah-HAs and act on at least one in the next 24 hours. One Ah-HA can create the freedom you crave and enrich your life forever!

Remember to be patient and lighten up on yourself – have some fun! Get selfish and take care of yourself first, then take care of others! Acknowledge life is a journey, not a destination, focus on your progress each day, week, month, quarter and year.

Upcoming Living Your Extraordinary Life workshops October 15th, November 14th and December 10th

Living Your Extraordinary Life

A guide for turning chaos into order to create a life of passion & purpose…

Are you saying, “I don’t want to be here anymore?”
Are you ready to go from “now what” to “what now” and live an extraordinary with more freedom, passion, and fun?

If this sounds like you, then the time is NOW to create and start living your extraordinary life! With clarity, energy, and courage, you’ll be on your way to living an extraordinary life every day with more freedom, power and joy than you’ve ever had before.

This FREE ebook is filled with exercises that help you define your Now What Vision and Purpose!

As a life reinvention mentor, I assist my clients in identifying and removing any barriers or roadblocks to their success. This work involves looking for tolerations – a situation, a condition, or an influence of any kind that is allowed to exist and is less than ideal. It is something that is put up with or endured.

The reality of tolerations is that they eat up time, money, energy, mental space and are often a hindering influence that blocks us from having something we want. Despite the impact of tolerations on our health and well-being, relationships, productivity and money, we tend to accept them and the suffering that goes along with them as a part of the human experience. So, we continue to put up with, endure, take on, and are dragged down by people’s behavior (including our own), situations, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unfinished business, and frustrations.

The good news is that tolerations can often be eliminated. The first step is to identify any harmful and hindering tolerations and acknowledge they are having an impact on your life. My favorite tool for this work is the Clean Sweep from Coach U. With this tool my clients self assess and score four areas of their life: Physical, Health & Well-Being, Money and Emotional Relationships. Next, they develop an action plan to remove the tolerations blocking them or strategies for accepting a condition or situation that can not be changed. Often, the only difference between toleration and acceptance is attitude and approach.

Are tolerations zapping your energy and resources? Are they keeping you up at night? Are you accepting tolerations as a way of your life?

What are you putting up with right now that’s getting in the way of you having a life you love?

  • Is your calendar managing you?
  • Are you making time for the things that are important to you?

  • Are you getting enough sleep? Drinking enough water?

  • Are you saying “yes” to others when you want to say “no” to them and “yes” to YOU?

  • Is the leadership style of your boss blocking you from producing your best results?

  • Any clutter in your physical spaces at home, your office, your car zapping your energy?

  • Do you have sufficient, consistent income to meet your goals?

Are you ready to stop tolerating?

  • Who will you have to become to stop tolerating?

  • How will you stop tolerating?

  • Who can help you?

At Kefi Coaching, we assist our clients in removing barriers by identifying and eliminating tolerations. We can also help you distinguish acceptance and how to differentiate between situations that can or can not be changed.

Contact us for more information regarding tolerations and any other questions you may have.

Living Your Extraordinary Life

A guide for turning chaos into order to create a life of passion & purpose…

Are you saying, “I don’t want to be here anymore?”
Are you ready to go from “now what” to “what now” and live an extraordinary with more freedom, passion, and fun?

If this sounds like you, then the time is NOW to create and start living your extraordinary life! With clarity, energy, and courage, you’ll be on your way to living an extraordinary life every day with more freedom, power and joy than you’ve ever had before.

This FREE ebook is filled with exercises that help you define your Now What Vision and Purpose!

After much of the country has been covered in snow for the winter, I can’t help but think that dust and cobwebs is the least of our worry. Slush and sludge is more like it. Sometimes you’ve got to forgo the broom and get out the shovel.

While many of us might prefer not to live in the snow – I, for one, living in sunny California and having lived in Boston– not many would argue of its stunning beauty as it blankets the landscape, softening the city, quieting the hustle and bustle of our days. But, there is a point where it is all too much. And sometimes, it’s just unwelcome as it messes with traffic, causes damage from the weight on buildings, and even creates visibility problems.

What snow and sludge are you dealing with in your life? What thoughts have been weighing you down the most? What habits are mucking up your journey? What things do you just have too much of that are hampering your progress?

Here’s a couple of ways you can tackle your mental spring cleaning:

Use your pen as your shovel: Write down the thoughts that came to you as I asked the questions above. Get them out of your head. You’ll breathe easier and you’ll also be able to tackle your thoughts methodically, instead of having them fly around like asteroids in your brain.

Use your physical spring cleaning as metaphor: Whether you’re organizing your office or your brain, cleaning up your house or your life, you can use your physical chores to mirror what needs to happen in your heart and mind.

  • Imagine spoiled leftovers going down the garbage disposal to be bad habits that no longer serve you

  • Flush away anything clogging up your lifestyle by imagining it going down the drain as you wash out the bathtub

  • Clarify your vision as you clean the windows

  • As you mop and sweep, imagine the cobwebs in your mind being removed

Don’t forget to get outside and get some fresh air! Sweep off the porch, rake some leaves, and oh yeah, shovel some snow if you have to. Moving our bodies is good for the mind and breathing in some clean air can help our lungs and our mental states as well.

Do you have any spring cleaning tips? Real or metaphorical! Please comment below.

 

Do you ever feel like you are in the wrong profession, or in a position not suited to you? It’s not enough for some people to have a career path—they want to be engaged in their work and excel at their job.

Each of us is different because we have unique, natural talents and strengths. It’s our differences that are our advantage, individually and on teams. Customers, supervisors, and team members are not going to go to great lengths to seek out what makes you different. If you ever feel like there is more for you out there or perhaps a better fit, a great next step would be to discover your strengths and how to apply them in your work.

Being aware of your own strengths and applying them is a key to being engaged in your work and having a happier, more fulfilling life. Imagine the power you would have over your personal and professional life if you knew exactly what motivates you, what you’re really good at and how to match your passion, natural talents and strengths with the right career path.

Awareness of your strengths and who you truly are, as well as tapping into those strengths and using them to their fullest potential, will generate opportunities for you to excel in your duties, your career and your personal life too. Once you understand how your own personal strengths can align with your career and performance, you will also have a better understanding of how best to work with others.

With this added understanding of others, you can more effectively communicate with those around you, and improve the decision making and performance of your teams. In fact, strength-based strategies and techniques have been proven to increase productivity, customer satisfaction, profitability, morale and much more.

According to a recent Gallop report, 50% of employees are not engaged in their work; meaning, one-half of the people that show up to work have little desire to be there. Which 50% are you? Contact Kefi Coaching today for more information on how coaching can help you discover your strengths and align them with the best career for you!

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International Coaching Federation

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) has some great literature about what to look for in a business coach, why you should choose a credentialed coach through the ICF, and what benefits you and your employees can expect from your coaching experience.

Click the link to download literature about business coaching from the ICF.

ICF Business Coaching PDF

 

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Leadership and team building are skills that may be learned over time by experienced managers and CEOs. Sometimes there is also a need to learn these skills quickly and confidently. Business and executive coaching can be the key to providing the tools for leadership success reducing the trial, error and risks of learning on the job.

Business and executive coaching can unlock the true potential of a leader as new managers learn skills like conflict resolution and team motivation. Leaders can become empowered with enhanced self awareness, and companies can improve the performance of individual managers, as well as their entire team.

Leadership Coaching Benefits Experienced Leaders

There are a variety of different scenarios in which a business coach would bring big benefits to an established leader. For instance, business coaching would support a manager in a merger situation who needs to adapt to a new company’s culture, vision, and mission. Additionally, seasoned managers with effective leadership skills would benefit from coaching if challenged to lead a team of younger, more technically savvy employees. Coaching can also help overcome the obstacles, conflict, and resistance that may occur when an experienced leader is newly hired to head up an already established team.

Leadership Coaching Benefits First Time Leaders

New managers can experience the conflict resolution, communication, team building, self-awareness, and assertive skills that coaching provides.

These skills can also benefit other team members who find themselves in leadership roles, such as individual contributors with no leadership experience called on to lead teams due to their specific skills, subject matter expertise, or technical knowledge.

Through a proven process of listening, discovery, problem solving, action planning and accountability that values empowerment and individual responsibility, Kefi Coaching offers incredible benefits to new and established leaders. Successful execution of leadership coaching can inspire both leadership and their teams to make a difference within organizations of all sizes.

Want to learn more about the benefits that coaching can provide to the members of your organization? Contact me today and we will uncover the ways to unlock the ultimate potential from your leadership team.

 

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The environment we surround ourselves in has a direct impact on how we feel and function as individuals. Just as an office space can lay the groundwork for a more productive workday, an overly cluttered and haphazard office can impede productivity. Going further, an overly messy or haphazard home can lead to emotional turmoil.

Take a look around you. Where are you, what do you see, how is everything organized? Can you find something you need quickly or do you have to search around? Finally, does what you see cause you serenity or stress? If what you see starts to make you feel nervous, stressed, or overwhelmed it’s time to take action.

People hold onto things for a variety of reasons; sometimes it’s sentimental, other times certain items are important to keep on file, and some things are just plain interesting. The problem becomes when an individual clings to THINGS for the wrong reasons. The thought of getting rid of them causes unthinkable amounts of stress or fear which prevents them from becoming a healthy whole person.

Things are ultimately just things, but because of our human emotions, it’s sometimes difficult to discern if the reason you’re holding onto things ultimately comes back to a strong enough reason. Often times you need to have a third party, one who isn’t so emotional about the ‘stuff’, to come in and offer clarity on what is important and what needs to be dumped. What’s remarkable is that once you finally find the courage to dump the clutter and get organized you will be overwhelmed with a sense of freedom, unburdening, and renewed energy.

In entering this New Year, set yourself up for success with an office that nurtures creativity and productivity. Surround yourself in an office that gets you excited for your work goals and motivated to put in your best effort.

Come home to a house, and a bedroom, that reflects your passions and what makes you happy as an individual. Make your space one that is inviting and makes you feel at ease, rather than stressed. Sight is one of our most relied upon senses, even on an unconscious level, what you’re seeing is intrinsically linked to your mood. Those struggling with insomnia or sleep problems may be surprised to learn that the state of their bedroom could be the trigger that’s sending them off to a restless night.

Tackle bigger goals in 2015 and make one of those goals a BETTER personal well-being. Take action on creating that by making your environment one that breeds an enthusiasm for life. Contact Kefi Coaching today to work out a plan for 2015 that will set you up to successfully accomplish your goals.

mind-body-spirit

We are made up of Mind, Body and Spirit. Fostering healthy relationships with those we interact with helps ensure we keep our foundation and all the parts of our Whole Person in balance. This allows us to not only grow on a personal level, but also affects our physical and mental health. (more…)

Healthy living

Volumes of studies have shown time and time again that our physical health plays a role with our mental health, and vice versa. Research by the National Institute of Health shows that emotional distress creates susceptibility to physical illness. A review in Current Opinion in Psychiatry evaluated the relationship between exercise, physical activity and physical and mental health, and found that exercise and physical activity are associated with better quality of life and health outcomes.

How do you take control over the chaos in your physical life if you are sedentary, sick, and feeling stuck?

What are you feeding your body? Food can either be fuel for our body, filling us with important nutrients that heal us, or it can be toxic and addicting. Vegetables and fruits are important sources of energizing vitamins and minerals, and antioxidants that can help fight off chronic disease. These same foods can also affect moods. B vitamins in particular are needed to produce brain chemicals that regulate your mood. Think of your body as a machine that needs quality fuel in order to operate properly. Eat whole foods that come from nature, and avoid processed foods that come from a box or drive-through window.

Get moving. Exercise not only provides an immediate boost to the mood, it also provides long term benefits as well. Research shows that exercise can help alleviate long term depression, increase serotonin (the feel-good chemical in your brain), and improve sleep. If the thought of beginning an exercise program feels daunting, put on your walking shoes. The American Heart Association recommends 30 minutes of walking a day to reduce the risk of coronary heart disease, improve blood pressure and blood sugar levels, lower the risk of obesity, and enhance mental well-being.

Think positive. Helen Keller said, “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” Keeping a positive mindset can help you achieve both physical and mental health. The Mayo Clinic reports benefits of positive thinking to include lower rates of depression, greater resistance to the common cold, and better overall well-being. If you are used to negative self-talk, however, it can take some time to replace a habit of negative thinking with one of positive thought. Start to pay attention to your inner voice. Notice when you let negative thoughts pop-up throughout the day. Begin to replace those thoughts with positive and encouraging thoughts instead. Speak to yourself the way you would to a loved one or friend; with encouragement, patience, and understanding. Positive thinking can also help you with your health goals of eating good food and getting more exercise. Harness the power of visualization, and see yourself making good food choices before you head into the kitchen. While you are walking, imagine your body getting strong and healthy. Professional athletes like Jack Nicklaus use this kind of positive thinking to see the results that they want in their mind before taking action to achieve these results. It can work for you, too.

It can be hard to set and reach goals when you are feeling chaos in your physical or mental self. To gain control over your emotional self and turn chaos into order, you must address your physical health. Likewise, to achieve the physical goals that you set for yourself, you will need to be honest about your mental wellbeing. Focus on fueling your body with healthy foods, getting exercise, and thinking positively to bring both your emotional and physical self to a state of health. Once you have achieved balance with your physical and mental health, you can empower yourself to achieve any goal.