Tyra Jarvis

blog graphic year end review

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.” Margaret Wheatley

The week between Christmas and New Year is one of my all-time favorite times of any year. I love the slower pace to get clarity and focus. I also love the excitement of the clean slate and fresh start offered by the New Year to get inspired and motivated.

This is the perfect time to clear a path for creating the coming year. It’s the foundation for any new intention and goal setting. I believe you can not build something new on top of a bunch of incompletions. It’s like having one foot in the old year and one foot in the New Year.  

This is the week I get ready to jump into the New Year with both feet. I start with a quick review and completion exercise of the prior year. This includes expressing gratitude and celebrating what I am most proud of, what I learned, and letting go of anything no longer serving me.

Even if you have already missed the magical week, you can still apply these tips to set your year up for success. Plan to complete the exercise before January is out.

Here is the process I’m using to wrap up 2021 and set the stage for 2022 being my best year yet!

 

new year new you text on desk

Year In Review

As I get ready for the New Year, I complete the current year. This review, reflection, and acknowledgment exercise is a powerful tool to get clear and ready to create what’s next in the coming year.

Schedule time to go back through your 2021 calendar, like 30 minutes, maybe a little more, looking for the highlights and answer the following questions:

  1. What’s one thing you did that makes you feel proud? How will you acknowledge and celebrate this success?
  2. What’s one mistake you made and the lesson you learned? How will you leverage your wisdom moving forward?
  3. What’s one story you’re willing to let go of before the New Year? What new story will you create?

It’s not uncommon for goal-oriented achievers to rush past accomplishments small and large to get on to what’s next. I know because I have to remind myself and my clients to take this important pause to celebrate. This practice can have a powerful direct impact on you and a ripple effect on others around you!

Best Practice: create opportunities to acknowledge and celebrate regularly throughout the year, and especially at year-end, to sustain motivation and momentum!

Best Practice: acknowledge and apply lessons learned as a positive way to improve, grow and transform.

Best Practice: acknowledge some stories repeated don’t support us, and consciously letting go of anything no longer serving you is a powerful way to live a fulfilling, enlightened life.

So, how will you celebrate your success? Be sure to schedule it in your calendar! Leverage your wisdom? Create a new story?

woman working on computer

Get Real About Incomplete Items

Speaking of letting go, we all tend to do too much, contributing to an accumulation of unfinished stuff – incompletions. Tolerating incomplete stuff takes up precious psychic real estate in your mind, zaps energy, and contributes to overwhelm. It blocks you from creating new possibilities, conversations, and actions. 

I use a two-step process to clear incompletions.

Get Real

First, I get real about the incomplete items. An incomplete item is anything I said I would do; what others asked me to do; what I expect, need, or want to do; what others expect, need, or want me to do – and I have not done yet!

Incomplete Items Inventory

Next, I create my Incomplete Items Inventory of all the current open items and make a plan for each one.

My choice is simple – either deal with it or get straight about not completing it.

First, make a list of everything not complete, write it all down on paper or in a spreadsheet, and plan to get complete either by doing it now, scheduling it to be done, or getting straight, agreeing not to do it, and calling it complete.

A practice of getting complete regularly, especially at year-end, will eliminate the chance of just rolling things over into the New Year. 

I’m currently creating my punch list for all the incomplete stuff in my life, so I am clear and focused on what I will complete before year-end.

These go in my task manager and calendar. I then do the same for the items being carried forward into the New Year and add them to my 2022 calendar.

My goal is to do less, better, and to completion!

Best Practice: Implement a regular completion process – annually, quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily, events — review, reflect, and complete by doing it, scheduling it, or deleting it!

“It’s not till you let go of something that you see how it’s been holding you back.” Marie Forleo

My sincere hope is that this quick, powerful year in review and completion exercise will help spark your motivation and momentum too, and set the stage for your powerful 2022!

I am wishing you the best year yet in 2022!

Tyra

Fulfillment Formula
3-Part Audio Program

In this audio program, you’ll discover:

  • How you can set the foundation and path for fulfillment and living a fulfilling life!
  • How beliefs, thoughts, and emotions influence your “being,” drive your actions, results, and cause your destiny!
  • How to practice fulfillment every day to consistently align daily actions to “have” the results you want most and the growth you most desire.

Discover how to tap into the practices that use your efforts to work with you, and for you rather than against you.

Get access for free, now!

Do you have the energy to “do” the stuff that is most important to You? Is your time aligned to get this important stuff done?

With our post-pandemic world beginning to open up, I’m pretty excited to get some freedom back and start doing some things again. I’m also afraid of falling back into my old ways of getting things done and jumping right back into doing too much, especially since I’m still learning and trying new ways to get my stuff done. 

The mandated respite of the pandemic helped me see that relying on brute force, strong-arming, and willpower didn’t work. Sure, I produced results and was successful – what was the real impact? – the actual cost? I was often overworked, frazzled, overwhelmed, and depleted trying to get “it” all done.

So, this time will be different.

How? I’ve realized it’s not about doing more to have more and working harder, suffering. It’s about doing less, to completion, and always have the energy to do what matters most to me. This requires aligning my time with only those actions. 

It’s about using my resources to support consistency and sustain momentum. This requires me to conserve and preserve my energy and master my time. Protecting my time and energy is more important than ever.

I’m giving up trying to get everything done, all at the same time, and replacing it with a maniacal focus on what’s most important to me and an uber commitment to protecting my time and energy on my journey to fulfillment.

Today, I share some interventions designed to protect time and energy.

Any of these will help you avoid depletion and exhaustion, stress and overwhelm, and will go a long way to ensure you have enough energy to be your best self and align your time to get your best “stuff” done.

hands holding clock in the air

Protecting Your Time and Energy

Time and energy are both powerful, nonrenewable resources. Once they’re spent, they’re gone. You’ll want to have strategies that align your daily actions consistently to “have” the results you want most and the growth you most desire. 

This practice area is discussed in more detail in my free audio program, The Fulfillment Formula – 3 steps to live fully and experience more happiness, peace, and freedom. https://tyrajarvis.com/fulfillment-audio/

How do you make sure you have them available when you need them?

Your energy is your most powerful resource, and your time helps you conserve and preserve your energy.

By definition, energy is the ability to work and play, to get yourself from one place to another! Having the energy you need at all times is critical to ensure you have what you need to get all your stuff done along your journey to fulfillment. I’m not sure I realized how critical this was until the pandemic. 

sphere of glass on beach

Tools and techniques to help protect your time and energy. 

One thing I know for sure, doing the same things the same way, using the same skills that have gotten you where you are today, most likely will not be the skills needed to get you someplace new. Be on the lookout for new tools and ways to manage time, schedules, calendars, and energy in new ways for your new situations.

Maintain a healthy energy source

I talk about health and body a lot. That’s because it is one of my life goals – ultimate health and wellness. 

It’s the critical foundation for everything you want in your life, including energy mastery. You see, your body is the source of your energy. It is what supports you getting from point A to point B. If you are tired, hungry, thirsty, out of breath, carrying extra body weight, your body can not optimally support you. 

I have an unrelenting urgency around this one. I learned very painfully we’re all one phone call away from having everything turned upside down. When you don’t have your health, nothing else matters. Trust me on this one! 

For me, this will always be one of my Top 3 goal areas. Healthy daily habits and routines to reinforce my body to do what it does best – be the vessel for my fulfillment journey. 

Doing the “right” things vs. doing things right!

In leadership development, there is a saying, “managers do things right, leaders do the right things.” I feel this distinction applies to life. 

Whatever the topic area – time management, energy management, stress management, weight management, money management – for me, it is no longer getting hung up on doing things “right” like there’s a right way and a wrong way. This trips me up, triggers my inner perfectionist, and causes me not to act – to procrastinate. 

“Perfection is an illusion. It doesn’t matter. It shows that you’re human.” ~ Katy Perry, Singer, Songwriter, American Idol judge 2021

I’m searching for mastery – doing the “right” things, and most importantly, doing the best “right” things for me. I recommend the same for you.

This helps focus and decision-making. It keeps you connected to your “why” and your motivators and keeps you aligned with your vision and goals. Plus, you get good at saying “NO” and saying “NO” often with some practice. I’m not talking about saying “NO” to little things that don’t matter. I’m talking about getting good at saying “NO” to big ideas that seem like great opportunities and yet take you off focus. It’s just not the right time, and they are distractions.

“When you know what’s important, it’s a lot easier to ignore what’s not!” Marie Forleo, American Entrepreneur, motivational speaker, author

Fulfillment Formula
3-Part Audio Program

In this audio program, you’ll discover:

  • How you can set the foundation and path for fulfillment and living a fulfilling life!
  • How beliefs, thoughts, and emotions influence your “being,” drive your actions, results, and cause your destiny!
  • How to practice fulfillment every day to consistently align daily actions to “have” the results you want most and the growth you most desire.

Discover how to tap into the practices that use your efforts to work with you, and for you rather than against you.

Get access for free, now!

Get comfortable trying and learning new things.

Acknowledging the importance of growing and evolving is critical to living a fulfilling life. Doing the right things will most likely require acknowledging when you don’t know something and need to seek a better way. Getting good at trying and learning new things is critical.

This is how you learn – try it, if it works great, if it doesn’t, you learn something – tweak and try again. NO question, this approach requires confidence and growing competency by playing all out. It’s not for the faint of heart because it’s not comfortable.

Yet, “life begins outside your comfort zone.” When you commit to getting more comfortable trying and learning new things, you will experience personal growth and discover some magic for yourself along the way.

Bonus – learning new things sparks creativity and inspiration, which helps sustain motivation and momentum!

Mastery best practices for protecting your energy

  • Know the success factors – self-awareness is key to understanding your behavior and assessing what works best to support your consistency, sustain your motivation and momentum. Routines? Rituals? Habits? Automaticity? What is it for you?
  • Simplify your life – less is more! Be honest with yourself – it will not all get done, so let it go. Remember the 80:20 rule? 20% of anything produces 80% of your results. Get good at purging to help you stay focused and concentrate. The alternative zaps energy. 
woman holding coffee cup that says like a boss

Additional Resources

A couple of resources I have found fascinating and supportive is an Amy Porterfield podcast with Kate Northrup, “Feeling frazzled and overworked? How to prioritize what matters most.” 

  • Amy is an online marketing entrepreneur and author.  https://www.amyporterfield.com/2019/05/262/
  • Kate is the author of Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Ambitious Women. 
  • Pace yourself – life is a marathon, not a sprint. Never go below a ¼ tank, so you have some reserves and “surge protection” for when you need to sprint. Maintaining a consistent, steady pace is key!
  • Know your energy zappers – we all have them. What causes you to go off and start sorting your sock drawer? What are yours? Social media, email, binge-watching TV. Turn off all notifications and alerts, especially audible ones. Use a “do not disturb sign” on your door if you share a workspace.
  • Set your environment up for success  – your physical environment can be a source for great stuff getting done or a significant source of distraction, overwhelm, and stress. Use great lighting, take breaks to get some fresh air, get rid of clutter, organize digital and paper files. Trust me, your eyes see everything!
  • Get complete regularly – review, reflect, complete. Implement a regular completion process daily, weekly, quarterly, annually, including after-action reviews for events and projects. Look for what you’re proud of to acknowledge and celebrate. Identify any mistakes and lessons you learned to leverage your wisdom. Let go of anything no longer serving you. 
  • Tackle tolerations – toleration is any situation, condition, or influence allowed to exist, is less than ideal, and is put up with or endured. They eat up time, money, energy, psychic real estate and are often a hindering influence that blocks your from having something you want. So, are tolerations zapping your energy and resources? Are they keeping you up at night? Are you accepting tolerations as a way of life? If so, identify the harmful and hindering tolerations, acknowledge they are impacting your life, and develop an action plan to remove the tolerations blocking you or strategies for accepting a condition or situation that can not be changed. Areas to look for tolerations might be your physical environment, emotional health, well-being, finances, relationships, incompletions.
  • Stop Tolerating Incompletions tolerating incomplete stuff zaps energy and contributes to overwhelm. To create space for creating new possibilities, conversations and actions, practice getting complete regularly. Get real about incomplete items – what you said you would do; what others asked you to do; what you expect, need, or want to do; what others expect, need, or want you to do. Create and work your incomplete items inventory: make a list of everything not complete with your plan to get complete – do it now, schedule it to be done, or get straight, agree not to do it, and call it complete.

Working with a coach is a great way to shine a light on tolerations and help you develop strategies for clearing your path.

scrabble tiles with all you need is less spelled out

Protect Your Time – Master Your Time, Schedule, Calendar

Are you making time for your most important people and things? If it’s not on your calendar, it will not get done.

How do you use your time? Does it feel like your time, schedule, and calendar are managing you? If so, this is distracting you, taking you off focus, and draining your energy.

A healthy relationship with time helps reduce stress and will generate more time for the things you love.

About time …

Time is finite – you can make more money, more friends, generate new ideas, learn new things – you can not make more time! We all get 24 hours a day or 168 hours each week. 

Honoring your boundaries with your time, schedule, and calendar that works for you is a powerful way to get the best “right” things done and respect yourself. Double dip – helps you protect your energy and pace yourself, so you always have what you need to finish any race strong.

Mastery best practices for protecting your time

  • Commit to mastering your time – doing the right things with your time. This may require you to learn and try new ways to grow your skills and competency in this critical life skill.
  • Know Your Best Time –are you a morning person, a night owl? When do you do your best work? Don’t spend your best time wasting time.
  • Complete and Plan each week – use specific descriptions for tasks with time estimates. Schedule the time on your calendar to do the work, and honor your deadlines.
  • Calendar Block like activities – 3 Ps – Planning, Project (Focus & Admin), Play. Schedules should include transition buffers to allow enough time between meetings and tasks. Also, have some white space for unplanned and carry-over tasks.
  • Always make time to invest in your self-care. Put your oxygen mask on first! Do something every day that brings you joy!
  • Do less, better to completion. Simplify by focusing on “will dos’ as opposed to “to-dos.” Ask yourself – does it need to be done? Does it need to be done by me? Does it need to be done NOW? 
  • Prioritize and stay focused on your most important Top 3 most.
  • Beware of multi-tasking; it’s a time trap. It does not help you to be more productive. Keep a laser focus on one thing at a time.  https://lisabollow.com/multitasking-myth/

Most importantly, you’re in charge of your time, schedule, and calendar. You say what goes in your schedule and on your calendar. Protect your time by taking charge and owning your commitments, and aligning everything you give time to so you control what gets your attention.

Remember that there are only 24 hours in the day. This means that whatever you choose to take on limits your ability to do other things. So even if you somehow can fit a new commitment into your schedule, if it’s not more important than what you would have to give up to do it (including time for relaxation and self-care), you don’t have the time in your schedule.

You’re in charge – own your commitments, take charge of your time, including your calendar, and you’ll take charge of your happiness and fulfillment!

If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done!

What will you choose to do today?

  • Take care of yourself
  • Make time for you – do something every day that brings you joy!
  • Manage your time differently
  • Take Action when you are stuck
  • Invest time and money into your development
  • Use accountability structures to support your success journey
  • Use a coach, mastermind, or peak performance partner to help hold you accountable

You’re in charge – own your commitments, take charge of your time, including your calendar, and happiness!

Check it out and let me know in the comments how you will protect your energy in our post-pandemic world?

Reminder: time and energy are nonrenewable assets. You only get 24 hours a day and 168 hours a week. Once they’re spent, they’re gone; you don’t get them back.

Protecting your time and energy is your superpower!

How will you spend your time today? 

How will you make sure you have enough energy in your tank to get your highest priority things done today?

Mindset, schmindset! What’s all the noise about mindset?

Well, your mindset is fundamental to how you experience the world. It influences what you see as possible and the actions you see to take. Your mindset sets up the results and success you create and whether you have fulfillment and freedom in your life or not.

Mindset breakdowns will keep you stuck and disconnected from your true self. You may be fearful, reactive, doubtful, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, pessimistic, in scarcity, and focused on problems rather than solutions. This at a time when you need to be positive, creative, solution-focused and committed to taking action.

We all experience being stuck. The challenge is how long you allow yourself to stay stuck. What does staying stuck cost you? You may experience frustration, stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, depletion, lack of adequate rest, sleep, energy, vitality, zest for life.

Left unmanaged, this breakdown could lead to impacts to your health and wellbeing, productivity and performance, healthy relationships, career opportunities and income, and the ability to imagine and realize your dreams.

“Mindset is the only “to do” you never cross off your list!” – Sandra Yancey, CEO eWomen Network, Personal & Business Transformation Expert

Lessons from a Master’s Champion

A few weeks back was Masters Week, one of four major golf tournaments on the PGA Tour. I happened to catch a Golf Channel interview with Bubba Watson.

For those of you who don’t know of him, Bubba is a successful American professional golfer with two Master’s Championship wins and several additional wins throughout his 19-year career playing on tour. In 2015, he reached a career-high 2nd place in the Official World Golf Ranking. Last week, he tied for 26th bringing his ranking to 57th.

Bubba is an exciting player to watch. He is flamboyant, unconventional, sees creative shots to take, and has the guts to take them. He is a master of his game physically and plays the game his way.

There’s no question he has the physical talent to win and that he has been successful. His challenge has been managing the disappointment between the peaks and valleys of his success. He refers to his “headless” self when he is inside the ropes, which is inconsistent with who he is outside the ropes.

This suffering caused him to lose a significant amount of body weight. As his weight declined, so did his strength and distance. He also allowed the negative comments from the press and social media to influence how he felt about himself and his game. He was fearful there was something wrong with him physically. He thought he was dying.

He considered quitting to end his pain and frustration. His wife helped him see and connect with what he loves about playing golf. He loves playing at the highest competitive level and sharing his experiences with his children and family. When he connected to his “why” for playing golf, he was ready to confront his real demons – and the demon was within.

Last year, he went to his swing coach with the intent of working on his physical skills. “He fired me,” Watson said, laughing. “He said, ‘Man, you’re so mental, we can’t even work together.’ I always thought it was not physical, that it’s mental, and after two weeks, I said, ‘Hey, it’s mental.’ And he goes, ‘Yeah, it’s mental.’ That was it.”

“The best way to say it is it’s some form of mental issue where you feel like you should perform like these guys week-in and week-out, and you don’t do it,” he said, before adding: “As I get older, I get smarter, and I realized that maybe I should work on it. I work on my putting and chipping. Maybe now I can work on the mental part.” ~ Ryan Lavender, Golf Channel, August 2020

He admitted he did not have the mindset he needed to enjoy playing the game, appreciating his success and all the benefits the game had afforded him and his career beyond winning.

He controls his stress and anxiety with breathing and is working with a breathing coach to help him slow down his heart rate and calm himself down.

At the age of 41, he is addressing the mental aspects of his game – his mindset.

He got into Action.

He made his plan to improve the mental side of his game. This change is helping him set his path by not comparing himself to others. He continues to play at the highest level, relying on his healthy mindset to navigate competitive situations, manage his disappointments and increase his chances of winning. He is enjoying all aspects of this game.

His plan included working on his breathing to calm himself in stressful situations allowing him to control his emotions.

He surrounds himself with supportive people.

He recognized he needed help and wasn’t alone. He was surrounded by a supportive team of people, including family and coaches, who encourage his positive mindset and build his mindset mastery capabilities.

So, how about you? Are you blocking your success? What’s going on with your mindset?

Your Solution – Mindset Mastery

This is why mastering your mindset is so important and why you will want to have a tool kit of mindset intervention strategies. These strategies will help you create and sustain new healthy habits that support mindset changes, retrain your brain, and practice new skills. You will want the ones that work best to get you unstuck and moving forward.

Fulfillment Formula
3-Part Audio Program

In this audio program, you’ll discover:

  • How you can set the foundation and path for fulfillment and living a fulfilling life!
  • How beliefs, thoughts, and emotions influence your “being,” drive your actions, results, and cause your destiny!
  • How to practice fulfillment every day to consistently align daily actions to “have” the results you want most and the growth you most desire.

Discover how to tap into the practices that use your efforts to work with you, and for you rather than against you.

Get access for free, now!

Mindset Hacks to Go from Stuck to Success

Prioritize Your Physical Wellbeing & Self Care

Make your physical body a priority – sleep, hydration, fuel, movement. Failing to do so may lead to exhaustion, stress, overwhelm, leading to distortions in how you see, hear, feel and react to the situations and circumstances of your life. Always make time to invest in your self-care, including working on your mindset.

This strong foundation is key to helping you deal with challenges, setbacks, overcoming resistance, and managing disappointments. Once you achieve balance with your personal foundation, you can empower yourself to achieve any goal!

Remember – you must put your oxygen mask on first before you can take care of anyone or anything else!!!

Commit to a Regular Awareness Practice

Be aware of your current mindset and if it is supporting you or not, by consciously working on your mindset every day. Get quiet, present, and in touch with your true self. Listen to your inner voice, beliefs, and thoughts that you are currently experiencing and influencing the actions, success, and results you have to date.

When? First thing in the morning is the best time to capture your most intimate thoughts upon rising. Some find it works best right before bed. Timing isn’t as important as just doing it!

Make sure whatever intervention you choose works for you. What works for somebody else is not always going to work for you. It needs to be something you’re going to do consistently. Meditation, prayer, journaling, reading, or listening to inspirational material, communing with nature helps tap into your inner intelligence. Whatever you choose, make it non-negotiable and do it consistently.

Be on the lookout for where your behavior is blocking and sabotaging your success, like procrastination and perfectionism, limiting beliefs like scarcity conversations, negative thoughts and self-talk, any fear, especially fear of failure and success, and the lack of confidence and courage.

Remember – your goal is to value and prioritize your mindset and the critical role it plays in creating your life by validating, testing, and challenging your beliefs and thoughts to see new and different possible actions to take.

Tips to Ensure Healthy Beliefs & Thoughts:

  • Make time to control the influence of your mind.
  • Monitor your self-talk and use of unsupportive language and interrupt anything you say to yourself silently or out loud that is not supportive and compassionate.
  • Capture in your journal any limiting beliefs and negative thoughts you observe.
  • Reframe and replace each one with a more supportive belief or thought.
  • Value yourself as your BFF!

Remember – scarcity conversations are the most debilitating, especially when we believe we do not have enough time, money, or know-how.

“Most powerful words in the Universe are the words you say to yourself.” Marie Forleo

Get in Action

Your best path past any breakdown, especially a mindset breakdown, is Action! Even the most minor action moving towards a goal without overthinking will break a log jam and support you feeling accomplished.

Reminder: a breakdown is a “gap” between where you are and where you want to be – or an indication there has been insufficient Action to fulfill your promise. There’s no ego, no self-esteem, no value judgments, no story, just identifying that actions are missing so you can identify the next “right” action to take and get moving!

Focus Your Attention on Your Intentions

Having awareness and attention on your intentions and WHY they are important to you helps set the compass to keep you focused and aligned to make faster, better decisions and achieve your goals. Your intentions are the experiences and elements that light you up and bring you joy. Some examples are: spending time with people you love, having enough money to live without financial stress, experiencing new and different people, places, and things, being calm and stress-free, and working on things I enjoy with people I like.

Remember: the Universe is an intention-fulfilling machine. Be careful what you ask for – meaning ask for what you want vs. what you don’t want.

Seek Supportive Communities

We come into this life alone, and we leave alone. While we’re here, it’s all about people helping people! Spend time building, sustaining, and maintaining your network. Get connected and related with your contacts. They may have connections and solutions to ease your way. Remember: you cannot make “big” requests of others unless you’re willing to have big requests made of you. Help them, and they will help you!

The networks I enjoy currently are NAWBO Sacramento, LPGA Amateurs Sacramento, Women of Sacramento, and my Stand Up Placer Board. Warning: for this to work and be supportive, get involved and invested with your time and talents vs. spreading yourself too thin and not being actively involved.

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Jim Rohn, American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker

Above All, Have Some Fun

Remember Recess? Taking breaks during the day is healthy for your mindset and should be viewed as required, not optional. Make time to get up, move around, especially get outside and get some fresh air! Laugh and do something fun you love just for fun to spark joy and have fun every day!

When you feel safe to travel again, consider a change of venue and scene. This will be powerful and good for your soul and mindset, whether weekend getaways or more extended destination vacations. For me, I love to play with my granddaughters, golf, watch movies and connect with family and friends!

If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done – and it’s best if you don’t do it alone!

What mindset hack will you commit to taking on for the next 90 days?

  • Recalibrate limiting beliefs and negative thoughts
  • Take care of yourself
  • Take Action when you’re stuck
  • Manage your time differently
  • Make time for you – do something every day that brings you joy!
  • Invest time and money in your development
  • Use accountability structures to support your success journey
  • Use a coach, mastermind, or peak performance partner to help you hold yourself accountable

Work on your mindset daily.

When your mindset has a faulty wire, it can cause serious problems and breakdowns, including physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental health issues. It will also cause you to filter possibilities and opportunities, impact your communications and relationships, and your results, outcomes, and success.

I advocate working on your mindset every day as a preventative intervention. If you’re currently stuck, you’ll especially want to prioritize and work on your mindset every day to keep getting it in tip-top condition, so it supports you by working with you and for you rather than against you.

Know this – mindset is your superpower. It’s what makes you unique, authentic, and in touch with yourself. It gives you the awareness and clarity you need to know who you are, what’s important to you, what you need at any moment, and what actions you need to take.

When you’re stuck, focusing on your mindset frees you up by busting roadblocks, accelerating your path to success. It can be a game-changer for you.

Tyra Jarvis Headshot

Your journey is your journey, no one else’s.

This journey includes your background, history, upbringing combined with your strengths and life experiences that make you unique. 

Last month’s Women’s History recognition sparked me to look at my history and the women who have influenced my life. This exercise of looking back through the rear-view mirror of my life caused me to notice the source of some characteristics and consistent attributes that have served and continue to serve me well.

Whatever my aspiration at the time – being elected cheerleader in high school, earning two college degrees working full-time, tackling a skilled craftsperson job, getting promoted to management, managing my husband’s health crisis, creating a new family with my stepdaughters, or building my current coaching business, I have relied on these same skills and attributes: vision, determination, confidence, courage, and adaptability.

Each experience set the stage for the next.

With each experience, the challenges, learning, and achievement informed the next experience building my unique expertise and self-confidence, etching my self-identity, and nurturing my self-esteem. 

My unique foundation – background, history, and upbringing combined with my strengths and life experiences is what makes me unique. This unique set has led me to master a path for creating change and transformation. 

Was I lucky, or was my success built on others’ vision, hard work, sacrifice, influence, and contributions? It is not about luck. It’s about standing on the shoulders of those who have come before you, carrying forward what supports you, and dropping anything that does not. 

I have been fortunate because what I have created and achieved in my life has been influenced by the amazing family members who came before me.  

Their immigrant spirit and strong work ethic have influenced my intrapreneur and entrepreneur. Their willingness and determination to grow, stretch, ask why not, challenge the status quo caused me to be the first member of my family to graduate college, take on nontraditional work, and be a corporate manager. Their demand to always have your own income has caused me to create financial independence and freedom.  

Today I acknowledge my family for their vision, courage, and sacrifices that have supported me in living my life. 

My Background, History & Upbringing Influences

I am a descendant of immigrants with strong aspirations and drive. Further, I am blessed to be raised by strong, independent, capable women who have served as my first role models.

My story begins with two very strong and distinct cultures, Sweden and Greece. Both sides of my family immigrated to the US in the late 1800s, seeking the promise of America and a better life for themselves and their future families. They were Vikings and warriors of their times, challenging conventional norms, stereotypes, and the status quo to take on the unknowns and opportunities of their day. 

They all pursued their vision of a better life, whatever it took with the values of family, heritage, hard work, and helping others. These attributes serve as the foundation for my life and have supported me in creating my future beyond my birth circumstances.

It doesn’t matter what defining moment I confronted, the path I carved for myself continued to serve me.

I have been willing to say “why not” and go where I had never gone before and do things I had never done with people I did not know yet. I was willing to take on being different, not fitting in, and challenging others’ status quo. When I failed, I picked myself up, learned from my mistakes, and tried again.

My First Role Models

When I reflect on these qualities that have served me so well in my life, I am so grateful to the incredibly strong, compassionate, generous role models who have influenced my foundation and who I am today. Here’s a glimpse of the lives of these amazing women. 

Lessons I Inherited from My Great-Grandmother – growth mindset, immigrant spirit, and work ethic, adventure, taking care of family, and helping others.

My maternal great-grandmother immigrated from Sweden at the age of 15. Who would leave their family, home, language, and everything they know to travel 30+ days by ship to an unknown place, a new and different place? As I understand things, her father had lost the family farm and everything gambling, and she was setting out on her own seeking a fresh start in America, a new land with the promise of a new future.

She settled in Boston and shortly after met and married my great-grandfather, also a Swedish immigrant. He was a construction worker. She was a dressmaker. They soon had two daughters a year apart when he suddenly died in 1903 of a bleeding ulcer. As a single mother with two infant daughters, she continued to support her family as a dressmaker.

She later would live with her sister, a widow, and her daughter, Tyra, my namesake. She remained the matriarch of this side of my family until her death at 93 in 1968. She would later say, “the only thing remarkable about my sister and me is that we traveled the Atlantic 9 times.” I am thankful she made all those trips and was a stand for a better life and her family.

Lessons I Learned from My Grandmother – immigrant spirit and work ethic, taking care of family including raising another’s children as her own, faith, and service. 

My paternal grandmother immigrated from Greece to Boston and married my grandfather in 1918. He was a recent widow with three young children, 6, 5, and 4. He had lost his first wife during childbirth. She would have four more children, including my dad.

She raised all the children as her own. She was hard-working, willing to take on any task to support our family’s businesses, including grocery, restaurants, cobbler, and millinery.

She relied on her strong faith and was active in her church. She also supported the WWII and the Korean War efforts as a volunteer with the local Red Cross Chapter. She was widowed for 17 years and raised her two youngest daughters as a single mom.

She earned her US citizenship in 1953. She was loved by everyone she met. Her funeral required a police escort due to the crowd of attendees wishing to pay their respects.

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3-Part Audio Program

In this audio program, you’ll discover:

  • How you can set the foundation and path for fulfillment and living a fulfilling life!
  • How beliefs, thoughts, and emotions influence your “being,” drive your actions, results, and cause your destiny!
  • How to practice fulfillment every day to consistently align daily actions to “have” the results you want most and the growth you most desire.

Discover how to tap into the practices that use your efforts to work with you, and for you rather than against you.

Get access for free, now!

Lessons I Inherited from My Grandmother

Family, loyalty, culture, heritage, work ethic, having your own money, having fun, self-sufficiency, resiliency, perseverance, standing up to cultural norms, standing up for those less fortunate, and helping others. 

My maternal grandmother lived at home with my great-grandmother until she married the love of her life on her 21st birthday, the date she was allowed to marry. She later separated from my grandfather because he was abusive.

Although she always loved my grandfather and never divorced, she embraced her role as a single mother with great pride, providing for herself and her children, my mom, and uncle. 

She began working outside the home with Filene’s Basement in Boston just before the depression and earned a full retirement in the 60s. She was an active leader in her Retail Clerks Union. Some of my fondest memories from the 50s were traveling to Filene’s by subway to meet her work friends, shop, and have lunch. 

My Grandmother was indeed one of a kind and so self-sufficient. She was a seamstress and could make and alter anything. She could also fix anything, often wielding a hammer, pipe wrench, or any tool. She was a fantastic cook. She quit smoking after decades of chain-smoking.

She always helped her family whenever she could. She was a friend to all, taking care of others, especially anyone less fortunate than her. She stood up to the bullies of her day. She supported her church through participation and fundraising. She volunteered to help my cousin’s political campaign when he ran for the State Assembly of Massachusetts. 

Lessons I Inherited from My Mom

Being physically fit, athletic, doing well in school, working to have your own money, having the courage to grow and try new things, bouncing back from adversity, loyalty, and unconditional love for your partner, being a mom. 

My mom loved to work and have her own money. She always worked summers on Cape Cod while growing up. She was very athletic and a great swimmer, serving as a lifeguard. She also liked working at the local ice cream shop. Independence and the financial freedom that comes with having your own money were significant values from my mom. 

She dropped out of high school her sophomore year to hang out with older friends and soon joined the war effort. At 16, she worked a nontraditional job at a shoe factory making boots for the military. The work required using tools and equipment, and driving a forklift, etc. She served as a supervisor of the laborers, then Italian POWs. She received commendations for her efforts. 

My mother had an internal determination.

 After the war, she returned to high school and earned her diploma with honors. She soon found more traditional, socially acceptable “women’s” work at New England Telephone as a long-distance telephone operator—exciting and very different times at ATT. 

Seniority is everything in these hourly jobs, especially when it came to selecting work schedules and vacations. When she married my father, she was dropped to the bottom of the seniority list because married women were considered discretionary, second incomes, and less dependable employees.

When she became pregnant with me in 1950, she dropped to the bottom of the seniority list again because a married woman with a child was even less dependable. She left this job before my brother was born.

She returned to work with ATT at Pacific Bell in 1962. Note: the seniority situation mentioned above was considered unfair treatment and discriminatory against women and minorities. It was addressed and remedied in the 1970s Class Action Lawsuit between ATT and the US Government. 

My mom helped my sisters and me secure our first jobs with ATT as telephone operators. With the new upgrade and transfer plan, we all started initiating transfers to other company opportunities. Mom said, “if they can, why can’t I?” Traditionally, you started and stayed in the same department, cradle to grave or retirement.  

This program allowed my mom to explore other growth opportunities. She spent some time in accounting before being promoted to circuit assigner on the project that designed all the telephone circuits for the then-new California State Lottery system.

My parents always loved each other. Yet, the pressures of raising a family of 4 throughout the years took its toll. They divorced in 1973 for a short time and then remarried after 3 years in 1975. With the pressures of raising a family behind them, they thoroughly loved their second pass at marriage. Many of my fondest memories are spending time with my parents as a young adult during their 2nd marriage.

 

Was it Luck?

 

So, have I been lucky? I believe my life has been a product of my background, history, and upbringing combined with how I have gone about living and experiencing life.

No question, I am fortunate to have strong ancestry that has influenced how I see and value myself; my self-identity, self-esteem, and self-confidence. At the same time, I have set my sights on the goals that mattered most to me, took responsibility for what I wanted to create, relied on determination to choose the actions to take, and how to best use my strengths, attributes, and experiences to create the life I enjoy today. 

 My unique journey and foundation are how my transformation path has evolved and how it continues to support me. This is the path I teach and use to help my clients who want to change their own lives. 

Are you looking to create a change in some area of your life?

I hope these examples inspire you to move your desire forward – to set your vision, take determined action, get support, be adaptable when facing challenges – and make it happen! It will be amazing for you!

“If you think you can, you can,” the American cosmetics entrepreneur Mary Kay Ash tells us. “And if you think you can’t, you’re right.”

 Remember: you can do anything you want to because you can!

You, too, can do this!

 Believing in You!  ~ xo Tyra

My love of American history really began in high school.

My favorite teacher made learning exciting and engaging. I was interested, and his teaching made learning easy and fun.

We learned all the required content – the battles and wars, the presidents and their programs, and our society’s social evolution. Now, my memory might be a little foggy with time – I’m sure we must have learned about Clara Barton, Susan B Anthony, and Eleanor Rosevelt. Where were all the other women?

Playing outside my classroom in real-time were incredible women leaders demanding social change. This history was being written as it was happening. Are they in the current American history books? What about all the other women from all the other times throughout our history? 

In honor of National Women’s History Month, I’m taking this time to observe, commemorate and celebrate the vital role of women throughout our American history and the critical role of the NWHM to capture and tell the stories of the women who have transformed our nation.

Why Celebrate Women’s History

When we know our history, we can learn and inform our present and our future. We can choose to build on the foundations of the past, bringing forward the lessons that make sense to do so and not the lessons that no longer serve us.

When we do this, we can realize the possibilities of our own lives. This knowing establishes role models, teaches leadership, activism, and encourages self-esteem. Most importantly, it allows both genders to see that gender is not a deciding factor in what we can do.

Each time our children open a book and read a womanless history, they learn a woman is worth less.

What is National Women’s History Month

March is dedicated to National Women’s History Month. This is a time we observe, commemorate, and celebrate women’s vital contributions throughout American history. 

What began in 1980 with President Carter’s proclamation of the first National Women’s History Week evolved to a monthly observance in 1987 with Congress’s support and continues today with all succeeding presidents’ support.  

“From the first settlers who came to our shores, from the first American Indians who befriended them, men and women have worked together to build this nation. Too often, the women were unsung, and sometimes their contributions went unnoticed. But the achievements, leadership, courage, strength, and love of the women who built America was as vital as that of the men whose names we know so well.” ~ President Jimmy Carter

The National Women’s History Alliance selects and publishes the yearly theme. Given the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment occurred last year during the pandemic, the Alliance has chosen to continue this recognition with this year’s theme, “Valiant Women of the Vote: Refusing to Be Silenced.” 

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3-Part Audio Program

In this audio program, you’ll discover:

  • How you can set the foundation and path for fulfillment and living a fulfilling life!
  • How beliefs, thoughts, and emotions influence your “being,” drive your actions, results, and cause your destiny!
  • How to practice fulfillment every day to consistently align daily actions to “have” the results you want most and the growth you most desire.

Discover how to tap into the practices that use your efforts to work with you, and for you rather than against you.

Get access for free, now!

About the National Women’s History Museum (NWHM)

I first became aware of the NWHM while in Washington, DC, attending the 2010 CARE National Convention. I’ve been a supporter since that time. I donate, I have attended fundraising events, and I have hosted informal introductions in Northern California to advocate and spread the word about the museum and its work. Here are some of the details about this incredible social benefit organization:

  • Founded in 1996, the NWHM is a nonpartisan, non-profit 501 (c)(3), and nation’s leading women’s history museum and the most recognized educational institution dedicated to uncovering, interpreting, and celebrating the diverse contributions that women have made to our society through its dynamic online museum, educational programs, scholarship, and research.
  • In 1995 the NWHM commissioned a project to relocate the Portrait Monument from the Capitol basement where it had resided for 76 years to the Capitol Rotunda. This statue of Lucretta Mott, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Susan B. Anthony was carved by Adelaide Johnson and was presented to Capitol Rotunda in 1921, 6 months after the 19th amendment was ratified. The next day, the statue was moved underground to the basement, and Congress ordered the inscription scraped off. The monument was moved on Mother’s Day 1997. https://www.womenshistory.org/articles/moving-women-light
  • Their mission is to tell the stories of the women who transformed our nation. They do this through a growing state-of-the-art online presence and a future physical museum to educate, inspire, empower, shape the future, and provide a complete view of American History.
  • Their Vision is to build a world-class museum at the National Mall in Washington, D.C., that will show the full scope of women’s contributions to history and set the standard for how those contributions should occupy a prominent place in national discussions.
  • Once housed prominently among the other great museums of Washington, D.C., they will apply to the Smithsonian for an affiliation.
  • Our Museum will be the first museum in any nation’s capital to show the full scope of its women’s history and will serve as a guiding light to people everywhere.
  • Great news – the bipartisan bills recently passed both houses of Congress to establish our museum on the National Mall. The next challenge is to fund this bill making the timeline for implementation uncertain.
  • https://www.womenshistory.org/

Why a Museum Dedicated to Women’s History

Women’s contributions and accomplishments, for the most part, have been overlooked and consequently omitted from mainstream American culture. 

An institution dedicated to the many contributions and stories of American women throughout all walks of life will instill a sense of pride and identity in those not used to seeing themselves represented.

  • 1:10 figures in modern America History books are women
  • 15:217 statues in US Capitol Building are women
  • Less than 8% of statues in our National parks are women
  • There are 17K Museums in the US, and not one includes the roles and contributions of women to building our Nation

“You can’t be what you can’t see~ Marian Wright Edelman, President, Children’s Defense Fund, American civil rights activist

Did You Know

  • In 1777, Sybil Ludington, a 16-year-old patriot road approximately 40 miles (twice as far as Paul Revere), to let the New York Militia know the British were coming.
  • Actress Heddy LaMarr was also an inventor. She invented a frequency-hoping technology, initially rejected by the US military during WWII, making the cell phone, WiFi, and GPS work today.
  • Catherine Littlefield Greene co-invented the revolutionary cotton gin with Eli Whitney. The patent was held in his name only, even though she paid for it!
  • The current exhibits dedicated to women at the Smithsonian American History Museum include the First Lady Inaugural dresses and Julia Child’s Kitchen.

Why a physical museum? 

“Because buildings are important, not only as symbols but as gathering places, as inspirational spaces. Museums are especially important in Washington D.C., the seat of our national heritage, memorialized in marble and granite, glass and steel. But there is no women’s history museum in Washington. There is a Postal Museum, a Spy Museum, a Crime (and Punishment) Museum, a National Bonsai Museum, and a building that is a Museum of – buildings.” ~ Merle Streep, American Actress, Singer, NWHM Supporter

Your Support Is So Critical! 

Now is the time for all of us to help the NWHM fully realize its mission – to become the first museum in any nation’s capital to show the full scope of the history of its women. Together, we can build a physical space to experience, understand, and amplify the pivotal role women play throughout our history.

How Can You Help?

  • Become a Member! Share with your family and friends.
  • Urge your elected representatives to approve the needed funding for the Women’s History Museum.
  • Follow the NWHM on Social Media.
  • Request any supportive organizations you are affiliated with to become Coalition Partners.

https://www.womenshistory.org/

I acknowledge that I stand on the shoulders of many incredible women that have come before me. Now, as the proud grandmother and great-aunt of amazing, talented, precious young souls, I’m committed more than ever that they and all of our future generations know, understand, and study the full story of American history—the story that includes all the amazing contributions throughout the continued evolution of our nation and our society.

This is our time to make a difference and leave a lasting legacy for all of us and all future generations – let’s make sure these contributions are discovered, recognized, and celebrated.

Let’s all take a stand that this museum is built and operated to immortalize all of these incredible contributions during our lifetime. 

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How do you use fear to muster the courage needed for fulfillment?

I’ve been focused on fear now for the past several weeks. What started as a blog writing project about moving from fear to courage along the path to fulfillment has turned into a self-discovery obsession to know and understand my own fear and how it influences my behavior and choices.

We all have fear.

It’s one of our most powerful human emotions and motivators. It has the potential to influence every step you take along your path to fulfillment – beliefs, thoughts, emotions, feelings, being, and doing. If left unmanaged, fear’s influence will limit what you see as possible.

Knowing your fears, I mean intimately knowing your fears, and more importantly, how they influence your choices and your life, is key to interrupting any unintended hold they may have on you.

Most importantly, how fear influences the actions you see and choose to take – the source for the results, success, and fulfillment, you’ll create with your life. 

scrabble tiles with fear spelled out

Fear is Everywhere

What I’ve distinguished is fear is pervasive. I see signs of fear and its effects everywhere – in myself and others. I’m convinced it is underlying and driving all behavior, possibilities, action, and inaction we see to take or not, intended or unintended, and ultimately our fulfillment. 

My fear is always in the background conversations influencing my choices. How I see situations, what I believe to be true, what I say to myself about situations and experiences. Is she mad at me? Is he judging me? Am I not doing “it” right? Am I being criticized? 

My behavior definitely shows fear in the choices I make with my time, how I allow myself to be distracted when I’m resisting, creating anything new, like my new healthy daily habits and routines.

I’m definitely experiencing fear when I’m “sorting my sock drawer” – any mind-dulling activity that takes me off task, also known as procrastinating.

Also, when I’m trying to be too perfect, avoiding the risk of any perceived “wart” in anything I write, do or say, the other side of this coin, perfectionism. 

I get “done is better than perfect” intellectually, just not as a practice. Funny, I’m known for having courage, yet I struggle to have courage when confronting some of my “fear” dragons! What’s up with that?

Is it about control? Being controlled? Is fear about loss of control? 

Any of these keep you stuck or moving in a direction other than forward and towards intentions and commitments.

face your fears written on a pad

What is fear?

Fear is defined as “a powerful emotion based on the belief someone or something, real or imagined, is a dangerous threat to our physical, emotional, or psychological wellbeing and is likely to cause harm and pain.”

I just learned we’re all born with only two innate fears – fear of falling and of loud sounds. That means any other fears are either learned from our past experiences or inherited from others, society, or culture, etc.

Real physical threats are pretty straightforward because you can see signs of them.

Examples would be fear of a health crisis from cancer or Covid diagnosis. It might also be fear of fire from a burning house or an abuser in a violent household.

These are real, not imagined, and no question they would trigger a physiological, fight, or flight response in any of us. 

What about fears based on emotional or psychological wellbeing threats?

These threaten your ego. Fear of not being good enough, criticism, poverty, scarcity, aging, failure, looking bad, offending others, success, rejection, abandonment, to name a few. 

These are the fears I’m talking about, the fears rooted in your beliefs – limiting beliefs, inherited beliefs that may no longer be true or were ever true. They serve to block your path, knock you off track, thwart you from going after what you really want. 

These threats sure feel real and most likely are based on an experience from the past that triggered a fear reaction carried forward to the present.

An example might be writing this blog, public speaking, making a sales call, confronting a difficult situation or person, asking someone on a date, going someplace you’ve never been before, doing something you’ve never done before, going someplace where you don’t know anyone yet.

As exhilarating as these experiences may be, there will be fear with the potential to be stopped. If you allow yourself to be stopped, the question will be how debilitating it will be and how long you will stay stuck.

Why do some people not get stopped by fear?

The game-changer is how you move around your fears. Your secret weapon is Action – taking even the smallest action in alignment with your intentions can get you unstuck, especially before you’re ready when it’s still uncomfortable. 

The goal is to get your fears to work for you and with you rather than against you. The challenge is choosing how to let fear motivate you to take the actions you need to take to have the life you say you want.

How do you do that?

  • Knowing and understanding your fears and your response to fear. 
  • Acknowledging that fear is influencing your behavior, actions, and results. 
  • Committing to managing any fear that blocks your path.
  • Embracing your fear so you can take the next action you see and take it courageously.

Fulfillment Formula
3-Part Audio Program

In this audio program, you’ll discover:

  • How you can set the foundation and path for fulfillment and living a fulfilling life!
  • How beliefs, thoughts, and emotions influence your “being,” drive your actions, results, and cause your destiny!
  • How to practice fulfillment every day to consistently align daily actions to “have” the results you want most and the growth you most desire.

Discover how to tap into the practices that use your efforts to work with you, and for you rather than against you.

Get access for free, now!

Fear and your brain/mind connection

Your brain and mind play a key role in how you see, hear, and experience the world and your life, including how you process and respond to fear. Understanding the power of your brain and mindset is critical to interrupting these entrenched fear-based beliefs, patterns, and behaviors.

Your brain’s primary function is to ensure survival to keep you safe from any real or perceived threats. It takes in information from your environment to assess any potential threats and causes you to act in response to the fear stimulus. Note to Self: Your brain will work overtime to keep you safe. 

The brain does not know the difference between physical threats and emotional and psychological threats.

It responds to all threats the same. Its function is to keep you safe – that’s its job! “Warning, warning Will Robinson!”

I’m amazed at how sophisticated our protection mechanisms are to keep us safe. We use filters to seek evidence from our world that validates our fears, causing us to perpetuate fear and its hold on us.

Further, the brain reinforces what you already believe to be true and uses the past to predict the future. So, we don’t see things as they really are; we see things as we are! This system does not help us move into any future possibility. 

Your mind interprets any threats based on your beliefs and thoughts.

Beliefs are what you believe to be true – about yourself, others, and the world around you. Thoughts are the millions of thoughts your mind thinks each day – positive and negative thoughts and self-talk. 

Beliefs and thoughts comprise your mindset and are important foundational blocks on your path to fulfillment. Your mindset drives your emotions and feelings, which drive our behavior, actions, and results. 

You have to be smarter and more aware than your brain and your mind. When you do, you’ll have a tool to assess and interrupt your ego-based fears. 

The risk of staying safe in response to fear is that you hide your authentic self, preventing yourself from taking risks, trying new things, and growing. This stops you from making a move and taking action, blocking your path to fulfillment. It can keep you stuck unless you take steps to work with your brain, mind, and fears. 

Are you aware of how pervasive your fears are and how they impact your possibilities, choices, actions, and life? 

The good news – it’s a choice to believe and think a certain way, and choices can change – you get to choose! So, fear is a choice, and you can choose not to be limited and motivated negatively by fear.

woman standing on sand looking at water

Embrace your Fears

How do you use fear to motivate and cause the growth and transformation you desire most?

Some say, “get over it!” Move past your fear, overcome your fear. I say your fear is part of you. At the same time, the real you is smarter than your fear. Know and understand your fear and its triggers so you can consciously interrupt them to disable any unintended influence. 

Fear Management: Fortify your fear immune system with a strong personal foundation and healthy mindset.

Honor your emotions and feelings, and embrace your fear. Make fear your friend. Calm your fear. Thank your fear for caring and protecting you. Remind your fear that you’re strong, talented, capable, resilient, ready, and willing to move forward and give it a try. Let your fear know you’ve got this! 

Maintain a Strong Personal Foundation

Like a house foundation avoids collapsing under stress, your personal foundation supports you in maintaining a healthy response system for your life. This includes supporting your healthy relationship with fear so you can influence the hold it has on you.

Committing to excellent self-care physically and mentally is critical for a healthy fear immune system. 

Protecting your physical body with daily practices for adequate sleep and hydration, a healthy diet, regular movement, and exercise will be vital in fortifying your response to fear and fearful situations.

Maintain a Healthy Mindset

Your mindset plays a critical role in your response to challenges, circumstances, and problems by reinforcing confidence, courage, and commitment. It drives your emotions, behavior, actions, and results and is the key to real growth and change! 

A healthy mindset protects you from the debilitating effects of fear and can show you the way – and a different way, if needed! It can make a difference between having success and fulfillment, and not! You must take a stand to protect your mindset – both your beliefs and thoughts to survive and thrive! 

Daily awareness practices will help you tap into your mind power to see things as they are and drive your self-motivation.

This helps keep your authentic self and intentions in focus, distinguish and challenge any fear and its effect – inherited, limiting beliefs and thoughts, assumptions, excuses, expectations – to see things as they are, possibility and actions, and influencing your mindset and motivation.

Limiting beliefs of any kind and their source must be exposed and challenged. A regular practice that shines a light on your fears to expose and disable their hold on you is needed. When you change a belief, a thought, a memory, from negative or limiting to positive, from scarcity to possibility – you change everything.

Clarity, confidence, and courage will break the hold fear have on you. The clarity to have an awareness of what matters most to you. The confidence to be a stand for yourself having what you say you want most—the courage to take actions every day to move you along on your path to fulfillment. 

Be on the lookout for ways to upgrade to the most supportive beliefs, thoughts, memories, programs, and rules aligned with your dreams and desires that empower you.

mindfulness wordcloud

The Game-Changer

The game-changer is your response to fear – the actions you choose to take or not take as a result of being afraid and fearful.

If you’re not taking action consistent with your intentions and commitments, fear may be an underlying influencer.

Ask yourself, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Challenging fear is critical for living a fulfilling life. You’ll need to be a stand for having what you say you want, be strong enough to take on any risk and fear of criticism, rejection, being thought foolish – whatever it is for you – and take actions anyway before you’re ready – no more getting ready to be ready!

When my commitment is challenged, I remember this FDR quote, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.

Courage and freedom are on the other side of fear.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to be Aware of your fears – how they show up for you and influence your life.

Acknowledge you no longer want to be held hostage by your fear. You’re in charge, calling the shots, and committed to being in action.

Yes, your path to courage is Action.

Taking even the smallest action moves you along your path.

Accountability structures that help you hold yourself accountable, like coaching and peak performance partners, are proven interventions to support you moving forward on your path.

Here’s to having the confidence to stare your fear in the eye, embrace your fear and choose consciously to take the next right action consistent with your intentions and commitments every day to clear your path to fulfillment.

Believing in you! You’ve got this!!

Tyra

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How is your state of being affecting your life? I was reminded in early 2020 that the only certainty is uncertainty.

As the year rolled along, I was challenged to see possibilities and creative solutions when everything I knew and had counted on was threatened and changing, especially when my freedoms were impacted.

Fortunately, I quickly realized I own my response to uncertainty, and it is entirely within my control.

I determine my view of the circumstances and whether I see possibility and opportunity or not. This realization of taking control and being responsible for anything I can control is a game-changer for achieving intentions, goals, and living a joyful, happy, fulfilling life regardless of circumstances, especially uncertainty. 

Any uncertainty in any area of life – health, work, finances, relationships, lifestyle – comes with fear, anxiety, and stress from the perceived lack of control.

Awareness and clarity of what you can control, which means seeing the situation and circumstances as they are and in the present, not in the past or future and as you think they are, is key.

The good news is your being is entirely within your control in any situation and is key to how you stay connected to your true self, view circumstances in the present reality, and see actions to take. It’s the way you choose to live your life. 

When you’re clear, connected, and committed to your being, you feel secure, confident, committed with the courage to take the necessary action no matter how difficult or challenging. You choose to use your efforts to work with you and for you rather than against you.

What is your being state?

Your being state is how you go about living your life. It is rooted in the elements that make your life meaningful to you and the qualities that bring you joy, happiness, and fulfillment. 

I recently became aware of Josh Kaufman, author of the Personal MBA. He recommends you start by deciding what states of being you want to experience in your life. This is very personal, very individualized. It’s your way of living your life.

Those answers are not going to come outside yourself. You’re going to need to go inside. So what are those elements that light you up, that bring you joy?

Some examples of states of being are:

  • Spending time with people I love
  • Having enough money to live without financial stress
  • Experiencing new and different people, places, and things
  • Being calm and stress-free
  • Working on things I enjoy with people I like

Your state of being becomes a playbook for the actions you will commit to taking whatever is most important to you:

  • Making time to be with the people I love and care about.
  • Taking actions consistent with the intention to have enough money to live a life without financial stress.
  • Making a healthy lifestyle a priority.

This quote from Deepak Chopra, author, and alternative medicine advocate, clarifies the essence and spirit of being.

“Being is a silent, unshakable foundation of our life. It gives purpose, strength, balance, and direction to our life just by virtue of its existence. It is different from our body and mind that actively send signals back to us to regulate life. Being is self-regulating, self-sustaining, and self-aware. When we are connected to our being, we feel secure, confident, loving, open, and awake.”

Just sit with that for a second and get that being is the way that you’re in this silent unshakeable foundation of your life. Your being supports you, not being easily swayed by beliefs, thoughts, emotions, or triggers, whatever might take you out. 

Being is your bridge to action and the results you produce in any area of your life. It supports you in choosing choices and making decisions from where you’re going rather than from where you are currently. 

Your being is influenced by your physical, mental, and emotional well being. Do I believe I can? Do I think I can? Am I tired, out of gas, and judging and critical. Your being state is the bridge between your foundation of well being and your daily actions.

A strong connection to your being helps you defend against anything that shows up to block you, take you out, take you off track, is not a priority – so it’s a good self-defense strategy to be connected to your “being.”

What happens when you’re stuck in a state of being working in opposition to what you want?

The answers to these questions spotlight how your being is affecting your life.

Reflection Exercise

  • Looking at your life, what is your current state of “being?” 
  • How is your physical, mental, and emotional well being supporting your being state?
  • Are you connected to your being and choosing actions aligned with who you want to be in the world?
  • Have you surrounded yourself with supportive, like-minded people to guide you on your journey?
  • How do you view and respond to circumstances and challenges?
  • Are the actions you’re choosing to take consistent with your intentions and commitments? 
  • Are you prioritizing your wellbeing and ensuring a strong personal foundation and anchor for your being to bridge to action? 

 What stops you?

At one time or another, we’re all stopped on our journey to what’s most important.

What stops you? Prevents you from getting started by taking the first step?

When you’re humming along, and out of nowhere, something shows up to block you, challenge you, stop you? It takes you off track, testing your resolve, commitment, how serious you are?

Is it fear, lack of confidence, and courage? It’s those very things that potentially stop us from taking action and experiencing more happiness, peace, and freedom.

A strong connection with your being state can keep you in action with clarity, confidence, and courage to push past fear and keep taking the actions to move your life forward.

Your being state can help you defend yourself against uncertainty and keep you falling forward.

When I am stopped, I take responsibility for my reaction and response. If I’m going off track – how am I being? Is the breakdown coming from weak spots in my physical, mental, or emotional wellbeing? 

Is it a breakdown in my habits and routines – sleep, exercise, fueling, hydration, distractions, circumstances, and competing demands? I must remember – I only have control over ME and my responses.

Remember: Mindset is the only “to do” you never cross off your list! – Sandra Yancey, CEO eWomen Network, Personal & Business Transformation Expert

Fulfillment Formula
3-Part Audio Program

In this audio program, you’ll discover:

  • How you can set the foundation and path for fulfillment and living a fulfilling life!
  • How beliefs, thoughts, and emotions influence your “being,” drive your actions, results, and cause your destiny!
  • How to practice fulfillment every day to consistently align daily actions to “have” the results you want most and the growth you most desire.

Discover how to tap into the practices that use your efforts to work with you, and for you rather than against you.

Get access for free, now!

If you seek success and fulfillment, staying connected to your state of being is your path.

It supports you staying in touch with your true self, living in the present, and choosing actions consistent with your intentions and commitments regardless of what’s going on around you.

A successful, fulfilling life requires a strong foundation to anchor your bridge to action.

This is your being, and it’s a reflection of your mindset and your physical and emotional well being.

Prioritizing a healthy physical, mental, emotional, and being states are all critical to the practice of fulfillment every day and living a happy, joyful, fulfilling life.

Related Articles

What motivates you?

As you look to the promise of the New Year, what’s next for you? Are you looking to create a change? Is it a small change you desire like rearranging the furniture or a really big, scary change, like the answer to “I don’t want to be here anymore?”

Whatever change or growth you desire, whether it’s pushing you away from something or pulling you towards something, the drive to change is your motivation, and the source of your motivation is your motivators. 

Knowing and understanding what’s motivating you and why they’re important to you is key to guiding your life path for living a successful, fulfilling life. This link between motivators and motivation and setting and achieving your goals is a critical success factor.

So, what are they for you?

What motivates you, and why is it important to you? How do you tap into them to cause what you want? This is a very personal inquiry. Only you know the answer.

Conscious Awareness – Choose Your Motivators

Understanding your true self, including your unique needs, wants, desires, and aspirations, helps you know what’s most important to you and what direction you want to grow.

This is the first critical step to setting and reaching any goal and causing any change. They are the “real” personal reasons that move you to do things, whether you get things done or not, and have the life you want most. 

Choosing the right motivator for you can spark the inspiration you need to muster the courage to take action to move closer to a goal. Equally important is to sustain your motivation, to keep your motivation fire burning throughout the year. 

Needs & Deficiency; Wants & Growth

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and how humans fulfill potential serves as the perfect reference for understanding needs and motivation. This work assumes human beings are motivated by a hierarchy of needs, and the basic/lower level needs must be more or less satisfied prior to a higher need. 

Your needs are the required, must have basic necessities to live a healthy life – food, clothing, shelter, education, and health care, etc. These are common and essential for all humans and have a sense of urgency that drives them to be fulfilled because non-fulfillment may result in disease or even death. 

According to Maslow, these are Deficiency Needs because they represent scarcity and lack; these needs do not continue to motivate when fulfilled. Maslow’s Needs Hierarchy, Levels 1 – 4.

Your wants are not required to live a healthy life or for survival and can be fulfilled in the present or in the future. They are your good to have, your heart’s desires, your wish to have! These are unique to you. 

According to Maslow, these are Growth or “Being” Needs because they represent an ongoing process of fulfilling these needs, and when fulfilled, they continue to motivate. Examples of growth needs include learning, appreciation, actualization, service to others, etc. Maslow’s Needs Hierarchy, Levels 5 – 8.

“When you stop growing, you start dying.” William S. Burroughs, American writer, and visual artist

Motivators and Your Goals

Your motivators drive you to set and keep focused on your goals – perfect for this time of year. Staying connected to them throughout the year will support you as you take inspired action (the act of doing rather than avoiding), spark and sustain motivation, build momentum, grow, and transform. 

This is critical as the year ticks on, and life shows up with its distractions, competing demands, and resistance blocks your path, challenging your focus and commitment. 

Motivation – Are you moved from inside or outside?

Motivation is an individual, internal mental process, and force that supports you in achieving specific goals and performing tasks more efficiently. It makes things happen for you by causing you to take action, make a move, do something, create things. 

Your motivation can come from inside yourself, intrinsic motivation. This involves engaging in activities because those activities are personally rewarding and fulfill your beliefs and expectations. It’s more about meaning and purpose, service and duty, learning, and growth. This type of motivation is more likely to be self-motivating.

Motivation from outside yourself, extrinsic motivation, has to do more with rewards and engaging in activities outside yourself like title and financial rewards, status and power, publicity, and fame. 

These are both involved at different times in our lives for various reasons. One is not necessarily better than the other; they’re just different. You need to understand how they are different for you and the respective impact of each on you. 

Sometimes we need to be motivated from outside, a push to take action, to move in life from a boss, your parents, teachers, partners, friends, peer pressure, motivational speakers, etc. 

Fulfillment Formula
3-Part Audio Program

In this audio program, you’ll discover:

  • How you can set the foundation and path for fulfillment and living a fulfilling life!
  • How beliefs, thoughts, and emotions influence your “being,” drive your actions, results, and cause your destiny!
  • How to practice fulfillment every day to consistently align daily actions to “have” the results you want most and the growth you most desire.

Discover how to tap into the practices that use your efforts to work with you, and for you rather than against you.

Get access for free, now!

Motivation & Self Motivation

An essential ability of successful people is to motivate themselves effectively to start and finish tasks rigorously without an outside influence. The more effective your self-motivation, the more successful you’ll be in achieving your goals. This is a game-changer life skill for living a successful, fulfilling life; often, the difference between achieving goals and not. 

Here’s a news flash – action often precedes motivation, not the other way around! After you take inspired action from your motivators, even the simplest act can cause your motivation to take off and accelerate.

Motivation Mastery – Self Motivation

Motivation Mastery is the art and skill of self-motivation. It supports you in dealing with challenges and setbacks, overcoming resistance, finding ways to move forward, creating new experiences, and achieving your dreams and desires.

Self-motivation is key to sustaining motivation over time, helping you achieve your goals, especially goals with long timelines. It helps you stay focused on tasks, which enables you to overcome fear and manage procrastination and perfectionism.

I observed time and again with myself and my clients that self-motivation is what made the difference during 2020. Staying positive, creative, solution-focused, and in action to deal with the uncertainty and changes presented by the pandemic were critical to success this year in any area of life.

Here are a few practices that might help you sustain your motivation. 

  • Acknowledge gratitude and appreciation regularly
  • Plan regularly, and yet remain flexible and open to new possibilities that show up.
  • Establish interim milestones and celebrate small success every step of the way.
  • Get complete and clear regularly to create space for new opportunities.
  • Join and participate in communities with like-minded people
  • Communicate with others regularly

Conscious awareness of what’s motivating you – your motivators are your secret weapon to having your efforts work for you and with you rather than against you.

Knowing your motivators, why they motivate you, and where the drive is coming from are all critical for you to take inspired action and drive your own motivation to cause the change you desire.

Sustaining your motivation will generate momentum, accelerate growth and behavior change and realize whatever change or transformation you desire. Self-motivation is the game changer skill for living a successful and fulfilling life. It’s often the difference between reaching goals and not. 

If you seek success and fulfillment, knowing your motivators, pursuing your growth needs, wants, and desires, tapping into your intrinsic motivators,  and mastering self-motivation is the path to get you there.

Spend some time reflecting and answering the questions below. 

  • What are your motivators? 
  • How do they guide you?
  • How self-motivated are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
  • Do you regularly set goals and objectives to achieve your life vision?
  • Have you completed or updated your Vision Board for 2021?
  • Do you have a motivating environment and supportive community to support you this coming year?

Let’s make 2021 your best year yet.

The year you take charge of your goals and achievements. This starts with consciously knowing and understanding your motivators and mastering self-motivation. These are your best tools for taking that next “right” action and moving closer to your goals.  

Knowing and connecting with your motivators, using action to spark motivation, coupled with ongoing practices and tactics to sustain your self-motivation, will help you to be unstoppable not only in 2021, in any year!

Let’s do this …

I saw this image and thought of the saying “if you’re looking for a sign, this is it.”

And then I thought of my community of inspired leaders and entrepreneurs.

Just because we are rising to the top of our game doesn’t mean we’ve figured it all out.

Quite the contrary…

Sometimes, we need a sign. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we don’t have to go it alone.

I’ve found that the more successful you are as a leader or entrepreneur, the more you need a trusted ally to help you stay true to your dreams and live as you’ve already fulfilled your greatest goals.

Being able to execute our jobs or run our businesses requires a level of engagement and insight that is best gained by collaboration and support.

Sure, we could go it alone…but I’ve got a question for you — in my best Dr. Phil voice “how’s that workin’ for ya?”

Or we can fast-track our success, lessen our stress and finally make the breakthroughs we have been craving.

One of the most powerful questions I ask my clients is:

“What would your life look like if you fulfilled your goals?”

Think about that for just a moment.

Call up the most important goal you have for this year and think about what your life would look like.

Would you be happier? Healthier? Wealthier? Less Stressed? Able to contribute at a higher level?

Now, switch your language around a bit.

“What will my life look like when I fulfill ____________ goal?”

Be specific on the goal and fill in the blank.

Will and when…that’s what I call standing in your future, fulfilled.

If not now…when, ?

Your work should be fulfilling, not draining.

Life shouldn’t suck the LIFE out of you!

If you feel stuck, uninspired or a little bit frustrated that it’s already March 2020 and you’re still dealing with the same issues, (not to mention that you haven’t moved the needle as far as you wanted or needed) then I invite you to join me.

I’ll be hosting a free live webinar on March 24th at 10:30 am PST for leaders and entrepreneurs just like you.

When you join me, I’ll help you:

  • Discover why you keep allowing and attracting stumbling blocks into your life — and how to get off of that merry-go-round
  • Create a compelling vision built on your dreams and passions — one that can’t be shoved to the side
  • Close the gap between your dreams, goals and your current reality — so that you can experience success and fulfillment at a higher level
  • Finally, get the support you need to take control and Live an Extraordinary Life

Sign Up Here

Let me show you the exact vision creating process that has helped my clients create more success and fulfillment.

Here’s the truth — you probably can’t work harder to get what you want.

Work, or effort, isn’t usually the problem.

In the webinar, I’ll show you exactly what’s holding you back.

I do hope you’ll join me on March 24th.

One of my clients recently went through the process that I’ll be teaching in the webinar and had this to say:

“Tyra has given me invaluable tools and insights that have moved my game in life forward, producing very important impacts in several areas of my life. She is intuitive and highly trained, which helps her identify how to truly change someone’s life in a meaningful way.” A.S.

Living Your Extraordinary Life

A guide for turning chaos into order to create a life of passion & purpose…

Are you saying, “I don’t want to be here anymore?”
Are you ready to go from “now what” to “what now” and live an extraordinary with more freedom, passion, and fun?

If this sounds like you, then the time is NOW to create and start living your extraordinary life! With clarity, energy, and courage, you’ll be on your way to living an extraordinary life every day with more freedom, power and joy than you’ve ever had before.

This FREE ebook is filled with exercises that help you define your Now What Vision and Purpose!

I know what if feels like to move from project to project in search of fulfillment and I’ve discovered how to stand in my life feeling fulfilled.

Everybody has the right to reinvent their life and live with passion, purpose, and prosperity.

Listen in and learn the tips I’ve used to get out of my own way in reinventing my Extraordinary Life.

Living Your Extraordinary Life

A guide for turning chaos into order to create a life of passion & purpose…

Are you saying, “I don’t want to be here anymore?”
Are you ready to go from “now what” to “what now” and live an extraordinary with more freedom, passion, and fun?

If this sounds like you, then the time is NOW to create and start living your extraordinary life! With clarity, energy, and courage, you’ll be on your way to living an extraordinary life every day with more freedom, power and joy than you’ve ever had before.

This FREE ebook is filled with exercises that help you define your Now What Vision and Purpose!